July 23, 2013

With Love, From Iran.

So, my dad went to Iran for some work. He has a friend over there, who had come to India before some years and was overwhelmed to see him in Iran. With great stories of Persia, current development and amazing level of infrastructure and civic sense, he came with some gifts for home. I can write a very long blog post about Iran now, I would rather show off gifts today in this blog post. Be happy for me, okay?

July 21, 2013

Angels and Demons.

I am not talking about the book. I am talking about real like angels and demons. I mostly avoid using the word 'Demons' for people, here when I am writing this I would like to clarify.

Angels are a bunch of people, who make me feel special, relaxed and secured. He or she makes me feel home from anywhere. Home is where the heart is and my heart feels home where these angels are. Talks or even being with them in the mute mode ( which is unlikely for yours truly) comfort me. I feel secured, emotionally. I feel the calmness which I crave in stress. No, they don't give me solutions. I hate being spoon fed. They give me that peace of mind which is important to solve any problem surfacing in my life.

Then there are demons. They manage to gift me discomfort and stress even by looking at me. Just like those monsters in virtual games and films. I try to find positive feeling from the meeting or the talk but I get petrified in each of those attempts. Demons are of course 0.5% percent of people whom I meet, but that small bunch sometimes affects me in a manner where angels have to appear.

Gossiping, stalking, jealousy and show off. These factors make demons for me. They are biggest turn offs. Friendliness, fun, smiles and positive aura make angels for me. An angel makes me feel light, an angles just calls me and talks everything but not the issue and I am awesome, an angle shoots me with sunshine and I smile. I am blessed.

To those angels, even to those demons. May I become an angel in lives of both. 

July 19, 2013

Randomness strikes!

My life is moving on a hilly terrain, smooth yet changes directions every now and then. Of course, at the age of twenty five, people (relatives) if not hormones play a crucial role in disturbing your usual state of mind. Some thing or the other thing, big and small, keeps on happening and either I demotivate my self to push it on my blog for some reasons or people demotivate me unknowingly. In this confusion, I have five six drafts in my inbox which I wanted to publish and never did.

Introspection is an obsession now. I discover new weaknesses and new strengths in me, every now and then. Discouraged by many and encourages by my own people, I try to find my way in the blurred atmosphere. Thankfully, my people understand me and let me take time to move on another confusion. :D

Reading and photography are my constant companions, I try to cling on to them constantly. I eat, rather try to digest each book I read, my mom is fed up supplying me new books. It is that strange atmosphere when you know, you need a change but you cant do anything about it. You need to flow through.

I keep on thinking about work- life balance. I keep on thinking about dreams and day dreams. What is the difference between a dream and a day dreamer. Should I believe in the theories in 'The Magic' or should I be ready for any unexpected or say, worst conditions in life. The later thrives towards negativity, isnt it?

There are days when I absolutely don't think about 'ANYTHING', I just enjoy. Just before a week I was blessed with such days- Five days. Lovely people, crazy new friend, lots of shopping, theater and what not. I always knew,I should not waste this time of my life and crib about coming dull days after those five days. I think, I enjoyed a lot. I happily indulged into memories for one more week. Now I miss them, with hopes of revisiting them again.

Now let me clear my thoughts. Planning to blog something new every day. Yes. It makes me feel so good, promise to be more positive and come up with small stories about my life. 

July 15, 2013

Hide, Seek and Scribble

Of course, I was not very fond of this game in my childhood as I was quite dull and fearful to let my people go away and worst, being all alone, trying to find them. Little less I knew, I would enjoy it in my twenty fifth year.

I found myself suddenly hiding from all social networking platform. I was addicted to each of them once in my life and here I was feeling detached to all of them. There was this one platform - Blogging which made me come back on the internet and let me finish the game of 'Hide and Seek'! This decision was not made by me, actually situations did not permit me to cater to my addictions. Oh boy the peaceful life I enjoyed in the absence of such addictions. Of course I might come back once in a while on such platforms, but as of now I very well know, how I missed the 'real' life.

The 'seek' part which ended up with falling ill due to variations in atmospheres in the western parts of India but it made me learn management of billions of tiny feelings. Today when I have entered the quarter life crisis state, I feel my life can change at any moment of time, I am soon realizing the fact that I am slowly graduating towards that 'change'. Okay, now don't raise your eyebrows, changes are unknown and will be discussed over here as well.

The last one year which witnessed myself changing in each spheres of my life, is still giving my hormones a tough time. The impulsive Bubblegum starts responding in place of reacting, some times she cries out loud seeing huge uncertainties striking ahead, sometimes Bubblegum knows what she wants from life and some times she thinks if she will be loved by her own people for her unique and mad band of thoughts.

Anyway, days have passed in this same confused state of mind, I decided to blog out it. May be after years, while having a cup of adrakh wali chai , I laugh on myself reading this blog.

The wisdom and the luck shall strike soon, Amen.

July 4, 2013

The chase.

It is fresh in my mind. Some one has opened the valve of the nozzle sprinkling sorrow. There are fronts I am fighting at. There are dreams carved by me, I am fighting for. Let me be clear, this word 'fighting' doesn't mean fighting with some one. It says, I am fighting against odds. Just cleared it out as I know this word made my world upside down a few years before.

Being at home and being nearer to loved ones, are two positive things. May be only positive things in my life as of now. Suddenly I am falling into a well, full of depression and darkness. I try everyday, to shower some positive feelings. It works for a while and I am back to square one.

Even in my dreams, I scream so that I can come out of some cage. The cage where I am comfortable but I want challenges. Challenges which can develop me.

Nothingness in a life of a hyper active girl can create a havoc. A messy one. I am suffering. Imagine I have not played a single prank in last three months. Just imagine.

My family and buddies are standing just beside me but I can not show them that I am weak. I cant cry in front of them. They give me courage, I understand their constant tries to make me smile. What can I do?

My decisions, my ethics, my wishes, my dreams. I am chasing everything. 

July 1, 2013

Let me be me..

Let me be me, to enjoy with you;
You gave me wings to fly, to feel the hue.

The land beneath is calling me so dearly,
You tell that is gravity, clearly.

Science is dear to you, I find spirit in it,
You convert fantasies in facts, I live in it.

The poem seems disoriented,has a feel.
It is to show, how do I love thee.