Days!

• Days when I feel like indulging into books which do not belong to my wish list and I start loving them, all of them.
• Days when I feel like getting drenched in a shower and drink water till each cell of my body is filled up.
• Days when I feel like leaving all those worries I have filled in my brain and go some where far away.
• Days when I am no more a social person but the one who craves to be alone, at the same time when my favorite people are around me- I do not even feel like leaving them.
• Days when I feel like sleeping peacefully and when I try to sleep even a second looks like an age.
• Days when I would love to switch off my mind and just float on a warm water pool. (PS: I cant swim!)
• Days when I get irritated on each and every person I like to be with and just shudder to even see people whom I dislike.
• Days when I drag myself to gym and after the working out I drag myself to home. Honestly I have started loving my office more than home even though the work load is immense. The gym comes in between.Period.
• Days when I just want to go home and then at the same time I feel like going on a vacation all alone.
• Day when I just want to shop till I drop (Or my dad drops me!) and at the same time, during week days I escape from even listening to shopping related talks. There are exceptions,  Friends S and L who are my office-mates-cum-friends make me go gaga over all outfits they check on net. 
• Days when I feel extremely ugly and dull when I think about how I am not capable enough to carry the bride look. 
• Days when my tiny heart stops beating as soon as I hear about post-wedding changes from girls who can not do anything but to scare me. 
• Days when I feel like going home and sleep. On the bed which is mine since the day I understood what is mine and what is not. 

Ah, Yes I am going home tomorrow. 

Days when I want to leave for home every minute? 

Days have been..

Busy. Super Busy.

Work at office- work pressure at office, wedding blues and irritating sleep pattern. Of course, the cherry on the torture cake became the injured knee. Yes, I managed to fall one more time, flat on my face just because of weakness I induced in myself for some unknown reasons. Luckily I was gifted no scars on my face only an injury on knee which is a quarterly business now. My knees are now like those permanently decorated wedding halls with lights and chandeliers to give on lease without any fuss of extra decoration! 

Damn. I think only about two things now - Wedding and Office work.The first one involves tones of thoughts (If thoughts can be weighed!) and super sonic speed of the processor I have in my brain. The second one is messed up with slow gradual gripping sessions in day time, in the complex networks of my tiny mind. 

Beautiful things. Well Oh,they happened too. Mr.ISB came to visit me for a day and a half in Pune. Shocked by exorbitant auto rates in the area I live, we managed to spend good amount of time laughing over his jokes. On me of course. May be humor is the sure shot magnet for me. Mr.ISB , if you are reading, do not go over board, it might strike against you!! ( * Yeah that 'Badi Badi Ankhein face*)

Some more beautiful things? Well, a good friend of mine shifted in my area , we managed to conquer some brilliant book shops, grocery shops, a home cafe, craft shops and well lots of 'Photos of designer sarees and Cholis' collection sessions!

Sad days included the work pressure and the I-am-yet-to-shop-for-wedding blues. The manager kept on sitting on my head with no result we could fetch and still trying the best by bugging each other. Tough times.

While I spent sleepless nights or disturbed sleeps for hours in Pune, I slept like an animal with open mouth while travelling. Needless to stay at Mr.ISB's place, the peace was so peaceful (If it makes sense!) that I slept off within 2-3 minutes after lying on the bed.

These days I have learnt a lot in introspection. People I thought are very nice, now seem a little different. People whom I thought are picky and a little bit egoistic, seem very friendly and extremely helpful. May be I am that old Bubblegum who always made mistakes in judging people. Always. I thought I had stopped judging but honestly picking up images of people is same as judging.

With all these cluttered worries and fun in life, I also understood how lucky I have been all my life. Getting lovely parents by birth, getting caring second set of parents (Gifted by Mr.ISB) whom people call in laws, getting a dashing and yet boring younger brother, best friends wherever I go and also best friends who remain there and will remain there forever and of course Mr.ISB.

Days have been full of a little sad feeling,  happy feelings , smileys and realization of how lucky this Bubblegum is! What's up with you?

The world Mother Tongue day - No way to save them?

Today is the world Mother tongue day. I am very possessive about my mother tongue, Gujarati. Forget Gujarati, the tragedy with all regional languages in India is, people who owe their childhood to these languages , who all got nourished through them, they are disowning the language with pride.

I see parents every where who are proud of their kids when they talk to people in English and they struggle to talk in their mother tongues. The baby who is yet to walk on its own , stops crying when her mom shouts in English or calms her down in English. Mothers who don't know English feels guilty when their teenager kids don't respect her. (Movie - English Vinglish!) I have met mothers who ask their kids to play with kids who study in English medium and not in vernacular mediums. It is sad. May be not. It is a curse on us.

English unites the whole nation, it binds the whole world. It is not about not being anti-English. It is about being Pro-Vernacular languages. If it makes sense.

My parents had taken that risk of putting me in a Gujarati medium school (My school is number 1 in vernacular mediums in India and 23rd in all schools -English medium included!) due to my father's firm belief in teaching kids in their kitchen-languages, not even the mother tongues. All my cousins studied in Gujarati mediums, and they all are brilliant on international platforms. In fact I have some cousins whose parents are the live examples of love stories like 'Two states', they all studied in Gujarati medium, now doing awesome in their respective fields. No, they are awesome at the other language they owe too. They chose Gujarati just because of the location.

The fight between vernacular mediums and English mediums schools is over actually after the era I passed my board exams. When families keep on shifting from one state to another state, English medium schools save kids from the struggle, there is no doubt about it. English medium schools have won the battle there after, but we are loosing a big part of our heritage with each progressing year. It may not be right to judge some parents on their selection of languages they want to converse with their kids, I feel sad for what kids are loosing by getting detached from vernacular languages.

My question is, can we teach kids their mother tongue at home? Can we stop being proud of the fact that they cant converse properly in their own languages? Can we start telling them stories in those dying mother tongues? Can we revive those characters of Vernacular languages which nourished our parents? Can we make it a point to keep them attached with their grand parents who can do this task better? Can we encourage them to read those characters in newspapers which they stare and refuse to recognize because they are no more important than English? Can we introduce them to their respective literature heritage if not all? 'Giju bhai ni balvartao for Gujaratis , 'Subhadra Kumari Chauhan ki kavya rachanaye'?

Some people say, knowing one language and expressing feelings is the only need. I do not agree. Nourishing a mind, developing thought processes and creating broader perspective in those tiny minds is the only need. Introducing them to the kids literature which is in the medium those elderly people try to talk to them, or the language they heard from the very first day of their conception in the womb - opens up a better world. I would not say, kids who read a lot in English are not smart, I say kids who can read, write and speak in their mother tongues have different secure world and they can learn English as well with clarity, provided they are not being suppressed by peers studying in English medium schools.

Being able to talk only in English do not make kids smart - That is may be the main point I want to convey. I have seen some thousand people who fail to impress me, even when they started talking in English even before learning 'Namaste'! I always feel, they forget the fact that they pronounced the very first world in their own language, "Ma, Aai or Amma'!

It is disheartening to see kids not learning about those morals each regional language can convey, those regional stories of great people who can become their role models.

I will start with myself. The next generation kids around me will talk to me in Gujarati and Hindi and I will consciously make efforts in opening the vernacular world for them by at least encouraging them to read and write in vernacular languages I know. A promise to myself.

On the edge.

I have become edgy. If I really want to put it in one word. Either it is wedding shopping, or too much of travelling or heavy work load or not being able to learn things or that stretch of twenty minutes to home or late night office calls with global stake holders or not being able to stay with any of my families. Anything. The conclusion is I am edgy, I am irritated. You pinch me and I will punch you.

There are thousand things in this soon-to-be-bride and a forever-crazy person's mind, none of them is taking shape now. These are feasible wishes and still Ms.Bubblegum is not being able to take up any. Of course this is irritating. 

I want to cook. Honestly where I live the kitchen is not worth entering into. Cooking is a far away story. Making tea has been reduced by 80% and most of the times my meal includes milk and sprouts. 

I want to keep everything neat and clean in an artistically arranged way. I realized I have a severe problem with everything 'arranged' right now. Talks apart, two girls in twenties, sharing one room and a cupboard- the whole thing makes only one sense. Most of our clothes are to be kept in side those big trolley bags. Annoying. Irritating. 

If I plan for the gym there are many hurdles to come. I have to leave early from office, which is the biggest hurdle. I have to walk in a weird, strange and dark road. I have to make the vehicle purchasing act more aggressive which is not happening. I should be healthy enough to go to gym too. Period. 

I want to go for a break. Alone. Some where on the beach , early in the morning with no worries in my mind, bare feet, day dreaming. Likely to never happen soon. 

The only thing I want to do which is feasible is drinking more water. My lazy nature keeps on forgetting that too. 

If everything you want to do has some billion hurdles and if-and-buts, will you be edgy? Yes? It is me too.No? We are different. 

The wisdom strikes!

That morning, when the alarm screamed, I opened my eyes. Honestly, deep sleep is a kind of luxury and my subconscious mind was aware of the early morning bus which would drag me to Pune. I barely had slept off for four hours.

I walked off to the wash room ,with drowsy eyes and a brush in the hand. I  saw myself in the mirror. I was devastated. Even after putting efforts in feeding myself only good and healthy food, sweating like anything in the gym , my darling cheeks were visibly pink and chubby. Almost like a baby whose cheeks just refuse to protest on gravitational force and keep on trying to touch the ground. 

And I opened my mouth to insert the brush with a sad face,the wisdom sparked in the fertile mind. Through the jaw line.

Yes, yours truly has been blessed with some wisdom.

In the form of a wisdom tooth.

PS:The moment was celebrated with a silent screaming sessions by Bubblegum till she was done brushing.

Ashamed.

There is a building under construction in my colony and it comes on my way to any damn place on the earth as it is situated exactly on the entrance of the colony.

I was walking by to come to office. As I explained before how desperately I want a two wheeler doesnt make difference till the day I get but as of now I have to walk for minimum twenty minutes to reach any where - Gym, office or even a medical store. No they do not do home delivery.

So here I was, trying to manage the Dupatta which is an essential need in this area of the city due to ever floating dust particles in the air, my gym bag and of course the laptop bag. I wanted to call my mom and this has been a schedule from the date I shifted to the area. I heard some voices.

I looked in the direction and found two men on the semi-constructed balcony of the mentioned building. They whistled at me and also passed comments. I was angry but I kept on walking with a duppatta on my face. My eyes were definitely vomiting fire. I walked off.

I walked off. I made a mistake.

I wanted to slap those jerks and then the practical me thought , I am living alone here. Who is going to help me. I might be right for some people. I am ashamed of myself.

I walked off from such a situation for the first time. 

To Do ! - Feb'14.

Publishing my own to do list, to be checked in this February can be an idea to keep myself in check with my wishes. Later on regretting for my laziness or lack of actions can be dangerous for my healthy state of mind. Here is a list of sensible, stupid, weird and funny list of things I want to do!

• As I continue with gymming, I need to improve my stamina. This month I should reduce those flabby cells around my body and start developing stamina to do Himalayan treks, not that I am planning to do but hey you never know!
• I want to re-start reading. I have absolutely been performing zero from the day I landed in Pune. Temporary accommodations have made it next to impossible for me to create a tiny library of my own. May be I am making an excuse. I am not liking books I am getting. Plain truth. May be I need to start spending bucks on books and not on junk food.
• No, I am not a junk food lover. My room mates are. It is next to impossible for them to live without it and it makes me slip into the world of fat cells easily. I have gained controlled over my temptations but not on my schedules which give me little time to cook. I need to cook again, after the break of a week where I enjoyed healthy tasty food from my company. Time to go back to the kitchen?
• Office work. I need to be more alert, I need to be excellent when it comes to file management and record keeping. I dont deal with any of these skills directly, they are worth giving attention to. Soft skills can be a stepping stone to the chair you are eyeing to. 
• I am going nuts without a vehicle. My very first pendinbg activity for this week should be buying a two wheeler. With those two wheels I can steer my hectic schedule in a pretty perfect way. Really. 

I think with these simple five bullet point to shoot, I can be done with the to do list for this week. I might sound boring as a blogger, I am enjoying writing my life off on this blog. 

Cheers.